Premise & Purpose
Some attempt to resolve while others provoke or avoid uncomfortable situations that may cause us to feel restricted in our ability to talk openly and lovingly. The challenge to have quality conversations can happen in any instance and are a daily occurrence for many facing relationship strife including resolving family issues or dealing with employee morale, disagreeing with a friend, partner, spouse, or simply negotiating with a client.
From a wide sector of study I have brought together the best ideas and proven methods to garner the crucial breakthroughs that can provide a comprehensive step-by-step approach to having any quality heart to heart talk to tackling those tough conversations with less stress and more win/win success. -- more coming soon!
The goals of the coming book is to help facilitators and anyone interested to learn how to:
· Conceive of the quality loving conversation and how to have them daily
- Decipher the underlying structure of every potential loving conversation
· Start a conversation without defensiveness
· Listen for the meaning of what is not said
· Stay balanced in the face of attacks and accusations
· Move from emotion to productive problem solving, etc
Why do this?
After completing my decade long graduate project concerning Community Conversations I realized that my goal in uplifting social interactions and public spaces (online or off) depend on the participant's approach to having a meaningful interesting dialogue or not. The results I found can be amazing - breakthroughs in relationships, partnerships and a new loving-self often emerges that excited me so much - I wanted to study it further - also a great book idea
Good communication is important both in formal professional settings and in causal daily life.
I often wondered what makes for a great conversation because we do all love it when we have them but so few do - why? Often the most meaningful experience we can have with one another is the result of the connection we gain through having loving conversations, yes?
The purpose of this website and future book intends to explore what makes us 'tick' in the way that we approach situations and perceive others that can make some conversations difficult.
I want to take the burden of blame off our shoulders for a moment and say, let us be real and honestly explore without malice why some people avoid having the relationship breakthrough they so deeply want. Yes, some loving conversations can be difficult given the premise, and the test is to maintain a loving engagement and not 'lose it' or manage conversations poorly.
ONCE we have found this 'centering point' for a loving conversation it can evolve from truth without judgment and perception appreciated for its concerns - this is a safe space for us to revel in and begin a journey that can be quite profound that offers a new relatedness, an area of understanding & appreciation -- for it is in this dimension that loving conversations thrive!
As the author I plan to interview experts and research proven methods and attitude revisionist approaches so that we can 'together' divine best practices that offer techniques for having a more effective, fruitful DEEP dialogue that can lead to breakthroughs in relationship dynamics and quality interactions - that ultimately raise consciousness and well being concern for all.
Stay tuned for a new Loving Conversations podcast! Have any guest or topic suggestions?
Why Loving Conversations?
Think about the opposite - who wants that? Difficult conversations are anything that someone does not want to talk about or suffers from not being resolved, others panic or live in reaction or repeated trauma drama situations acted out whenever such-and-such name is brought up.
Can there be a loving approach to simply having a conversation that can in essence lead to a complete transformation of negativity and challenging situations? Can a whole-brained equal sided approach lead to equitable problem solving using loving techniques instead of blame games or avoidance arguments?
People are usually reluctant to open up such conversations out of fear of bad consequences.
Typically, the research shows when many confrontations occur the involved parties often react defensively or offensively rather than pause to think through their more heart-based motivation
Most of the time our hurt-feelings are not the ones being expressed while felt are hiding much more than we actually may say. A loving conversation takes a new approach stepping back allowing one to observe oneself almost spiritually allowing us to be both caring and detached while also being forthright enabling us to fully express that which potentially is our deepest truth and now what is at the center of any matter once revealed in a loving way can address any issue or problem bringing resolution and relation that can be healing for all concerned.
I am looking for a paradigm shift in the way we individually communicate. My models and inspiration come from observing 'masters of caring communication' breakthrough years of distrust and anger between people fighting whether it be couples, siblings or long lost friends
It is amazing to watch this dynamic when you can have a breakthrough with someone you love and now can express it without fear of consequence - what a new world this could be~